It has been one year, since I came back from my studies in Jordan. The things that I have seen here and the things that I must live with, every night my housemates comes home drunk, all three of them. My name is Yunus, people call me ‘Shark’, but I never like that name, I liked it before I went to further my studies in Jordan, but I am older, so the name kinda grew out from me. now I just go by the name Nas now. My housemates are Joe, Don, and Al. each of them are my old friend, and we work at the same company, but at different divisions. Like Joe he works in the creative department, Don in marketing, Al in import export and me in human resources. We hang out in the day like normal friends, but by night I stay away from them, I used to follow them when we used to only play snooker, or darts, but since they started drinking, it’s a different story, I only follow them once in a while, usually to be their driver. But I don’t mind, since I enjoy the drive and the fresh air, but the occasional scotch scent or vodka scent does annoy me sometime, they are very tempting, much like a girl that wears very revealing clothes and dancing in front of you. I used to live like them before my studies, but after living years abroad, and hating my judgment to live there, but I finally accepted what my purpose there was.
The story is really simple, after my SPM I started to go out with my friends at night, we drank until we started to throw up, we ‘rented’ any woman we can ‘rent’ and heck we even stayed at one club until it closed in the morning. So that was my life, and I thought it was gonna be better when I left for college, but as fate would have brought it, I was chosen to go to Jordan, to further my study in social psychology. I never thought I would end up there, because I always thought that I’d go to Amsterdam, and I would get smashed during class, bang some hot chicks at night, and spend my weekends getting high while listening to some Dutch rock band, or English indie band. But it was my only offer, and my other choice was to find some private universities, but my parent didn’t want me to turn down the offer, because it was a full sponsorship. It was PLKN all over again. The only reason that I think I got in is because I took that extra subject, Arabic Language. I didn’t regret taking those lessons but I really regret passing them. The only reason I took Arabic is because I always wanted to pick up chicks using foreign language, and since nobody ever tried picking up chicks using Arabic I took them, it made me stand out from all the guys, but it also made me go to Jordan.
While I was studying my parent didn’t want me to go back to Kuching, maybe they didn’t want me to go and get smashed with my friends back there, or maybe they just didn’t want me back. But I figured that they wanted me to be a pious guy, but I wasn’t, so I’m not going to be a hypocrite. The first two years was hard, I’ve only have 2 friends and they are Arabic dude, who only talks to me in Arabic or English, but mostly Arabic, since they dig my accent so much. I never thought I would use the language to talk with dudes. I never went out at night mostly because there is no bar near here, even if there were, it would be miles away. And I never got drunk, because there is no alcohol. In the absent of those stuff, I got more time to spare, so I took up writing blogs. At first the only thing that I wrote about is how miserable my life is, that was until my third year, in semester six. I was involve with this freshmen welcoming session, partly I was involve because I wasn’t too active and I was one the few that can talk in three different language, Malay, English and Arabic, and I met this girl, from Malaysia, and she was perfect, and I mean in every way
I can think. Her name is Mawar. She was very shy at first, but once I talked to her, she was quite friendly. And I never thought I’d fall for a girl like her, but I did. It took me quite some time to figure out that I was in love with her, and my Arab roommate helped make me realize that I was in love with her, and I was thankful to him. His name is Ahmed, but I call him Matt, and he liked the way I say his name, I never understood why he was so into Malay language, but I found out anyway, it turns out his mother is Malay, his father is Arabic. He’s been living in Jordan since he was small so he never learned anything about his Malay heritage.
Anyway back to my story, I was gonna make her mine, but I didn’t know how to. It was really hard to show her how I really feel for her. I tried giving flowers with a card signed with my name, but she just threw the card away. And I helped her carry her books to class, and ended up carrying all her friends’ books. That was until one night, when I finally got her to meet me alone at the library. We talked about the assignments that she was doing, which I told her I would help. Thankfully some of the new friends that I met this semester helped me get her friends away from her for some time. So there we were, we talked until I stopped explaining to her about the work. She wrote down everything I said, and while I stopped talking, she wrote something else. There I had my momentum, I was gonna express my feeling to her right now.
“Um.. Mawar?”
“Yes, brother Nas?”
“I have to tell you something.”
“What is it? Is it about the calculations that you’ve been telling me about?”
“No, it’s something else. It has something to do with me and you.”
“Me? Is it about the new campus rule?”
“No... Listen its hard for me to say this, especially in the library.”
“Say what?”
“Um... I really like you Mawar!”
“I know, you like me Brother Nas, I’ve always known. I know you sent me those flowers, and all those chocolates. But I’m here to study, I have long years ahead of me, and so do you. I can’t just waste my life with love, I have to be a devout Muslim and think about what others might see me as, if they see me going out with you. You’re not like any of the other guys here, you’re like a libertarian. I know about those blogs you wrote. And I also know that you’re a drinker. But I can’t I’m sorry. But if you really love me, then you’ll change, and you’ll wait.”
“I…”
I couldn’t finish those sentences. It was the first time I ever got rejected. And it hurts. And somehow, I know that she likes me too, but with all I’ve done before in my life, I don’t think I can repent. I knew that I have to change, but I don’t know how, I love her so, but I don’t know what to do. After we were done with the assignments, I grabbed all my stuff, and walk quickly without looking back, I think I heard her calling my name, but I acted as thought I didn’t hear her. As I reached my room, I threw all my stuff on my study table, and jumped on my bed. I turned my laptop MP3 player on and the song Only You suddenly came on. It kinda described how I felt at the moment, and I cried silently, and I cried in my dream, and then I cried hard while I was taking a shower. Then I was ok. I started to realize all my mistakes; I have to change, not for her, not for anyone, but for me. I have to stop writing those blogs, and stop hating my life so much, and start doing what is right. I have to be on the right path again. I have to find Allah again. After that incident I started going to all my class, and attending those nightly Quran sessions that they held at the mosque. I was a newborn Muslim. I am really starting to feel the change, with all those things occupying me, I started acing all my classes, and almost forgotten about Mawar.
I spent almost everyday studying, and praying, and performing my duties to my religion. And due to this change in me, I started to make new friends, best friends, Matt became my best friend here, and we started to hang out, and I even thought him how to speak Malay. And even on occasions I hung out with Mawar and her gang, but I never got close enough to even speak with her. She would only smile at me from a far away, and so did I.
And then finally it was my final semester in University of Jordan, and I just finished my final examination. I’m expecting good result on this paper. I started packing, since my parent was already here a week before my final paper, it was the third time they visited me here, and probably is the last. I’ve already befriended everyone in campus, old and young, stupid and smart, heck I even make friends with the janitor. This was probably my last day spent here in Jordan, aside from my graduation day to come next year.
My things were all packed and ready. I said my goodbye to all my friends, especially to Matt, and since he was my best friends, or more like a brother to me, it was really sad to leave him. But as it turns out, he decided to work in Kuching, because his father’s company is establishing a branch in Malaysia based in Kuching. And he was supposed to be the manager there. So it didn’t turn out to be a sad depart but more of a happy news. He was going to Kuching next week.
Then I met with Mawar, she was the girl that changed me, she made me changed. If I never met her I would have never change, it kinda feels awkward for me to say goodbye to her. She smiled at me, like she always does. And we talked about something unimportant which I do not remember, but I do remember what she said afterwards.
“Well brother Nas, I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks Mawar. I really appreciate it.”
“He he... I never got to say what I wanted to say to you before.”
“What do you want to say?”
“Well after that day that I told you all those things, I actually wanted to tell you that I also like you. Even when our eyes first meet, at that freshmen meet that day. I never thought that you’d change so drastically. But it was better this way, you a better person than you were before.”
“Yea, I’m happy with what I’d done. And I didn’t regret changing. It was all worth it, all the friends I’ve met, and especially you. And like you said that day, if I love you so much, then I’ll wait. And that’s what I’ll do. I’ll wait for you to come back.”
“Thanks for remembering that. Will you promise me?”
“I promise you, I’ll wait.”
She smiled again, and we said goodbye one last time.
It’s been exactly one year. 3rd of January, the day that I came back from Jordan, and today I’m picking up my fiancé from the airport, she’s coming here to marry me after finishing her studies. While I waited I met this guy named Saf who just came from KL that said he was meeting his girlfriend who he promised to come back to. I met him at McDonald eating a big Mac next to my table. Then after he said goodbye, the announcement saying the arrival of my fiancé’s airplane was made. I stood up and waited outside the arrival hall. She wore red kebaya, and a matching red scarf, she already took her bags and saw me outside. I smiled at her, and felt that all that waiting was worth it.
“Mawar. Welcome back my sayang…”
The story is really simple, after my SPM I started to go out with my friends at night, we drank until we started to throw up, we ‘rented’ any woman we can ‘rent’ and heck we even stayed at one club until it closed in the morning. So that was my life, and I thought it was gonna be better when I left for college, but as fate would have brought it, I was chosen to go to Jordan, to further my study in social psychology. I never thought I would end up there, because I always thought that I’d go to Amsterdam, and I would get smashed during class, bang some hot chicks at night, and spend my weekends getting high while listening to some Dutch rock band, or English indie band. But it was my only offer, and my other choice was to find some private universities, but my parent didn’t want me to turn down the offer, because it was a full sponsorship. It was PLKN all over again. The only reason that I think I got in is because I took that extra subject, Arabic Language. I didn’t regret taking those lessons but I really regret passing them. The only reason I took Arabic is because I always wanted to pick up chicks using foreign language, and since nobody ever tried picking up chicks using Arabic I took them, it made me stand out from all the guys, but it also made me go to Jordan.
While I was studying my parent didn’t want me to go back to Kuching, maybe they didn’t want me to go and get smashed with my friends back there, or maybe they just didn’t want me back. But I figured that they wanted me to be a pious guy, but I wasn’t, so I’m not going to be a hypocrite. The first two years was hard, I’ve only have 2 friends and they are Arabic dude, who only talks to me in Arabic or English, but mostly Arabic, since they dig my accent so much. I never thought I would use the language to talk with dudes. I never went out at night mostly because there is no bar near here, even if there were, it would be miles away. And I never got drunk, because there is no alcohol. In the absent of those stuff, I got more time to spare, so I took up writing blogs. At first the only thing that I wrote about is how miserable my life is, that was until my third year, in semester six. I was involve with this freshmen welcoming session, partly I was involve because I wasn’t too active and I was one the few that can talk in three different language, Malay, English and Arabic, and I met this girl, from Malaysia, and she was perfect, and I mean in every way
I can think. Her name is Mawar. She was very shy at first, but once I talked to her, she was quite friendly. And I never thought I’d fall for a girl like her, but I did. It took me quite some time to figure out that I was in love with her, and my Arab roommate helped make me realize that I was in love with her, and I was thankful to him. His name is Ahmed, but I call him Matt, and he liked the way I say his name, I never understood why he was so into Malay language, but I found out anyway, it turns out his mother is Malay, his father is Arabic. He’s been living in Jordan since he was small so he never learned anything about his Malay heritage.Anyway back to my story, I was gonna make her mine, but I didn’t know how to. It was really hard to show her how I really feel for her. I tried giving flowers with a card signed with my name, but she just threw the card away. And I helped her carry her books to class, and ended up carrying all her friends’ books. That was until one night, when I finally got her to meet me alone at the library. We talked about the assignments that she was doing, which I told her I would help. Thankfully some of the new friends that I met this semester helped me get her friends away from her for some time. So there we were, we talked until I stopped explaining to her about the work. She wrote down everything I said, and while I stopped talking, she wrote something else. There I had my momentum, I was gonna express my feeling to her right now.
“Um.. Mawar?”
“Yes, brother Nas?”
“I have to tell you something.”
“What is it? Is it about the calculations that you’ve been telling me about?”
“No, it’s something else. It has something to do with me and you.”
“Me? Is it about the new campus rule?”
“No... Listen its hard for me to say this, especially in the library.”
“Say what?”
“Um... I really like you Mawar!”
“I know, you like me Brother Nas, I’ve always known. I know you sent me those flowers, and all those chocolates. But I’m here to study, I have long years ahead of me, and so do you. I can’t just waste my life with love, I have to be a devout Muslim and think about what others might see me as, if they see me going out with you. You’re not like any of the other guys here, you’re like a libertarian. I know about those blogs you wrote. And I also know that you’re a drinker. But I can’t I’m sorry. But if you really love me, then you’ll change, and you’ll wait.”
“I…”
I couldn’t finish those sentences. It was the first time I ever got rejected. And it hurts. And somehow, I know that she likes me too, but with all I’ve done before in my life, I don’t think I can repent. I knew that I have to change, but I don’t know how, I love her so, but I don’t know what to do. After we were done with the assignments, I grabbed all my stuff, and walk quickly without looking back, I think I heard her calling my name, but I acted as thought I didn’t hear her. As I reached my room, I threw all my stuff on my study table, and jumped on my bed. I turned my laptop MP3 player on and the song Only You suddenly came on. It kinda described how I felt at the moment, and I cried silently, and I cried in my dream, and then I cried hard while I was taking a shower. Then I was ok. I started to realize all my mistakes; I have to change, not for her, not for anyone, but for me. I have to stop writing those blogs, and stop hating my life so much, and start doing what is right. I have to be on the right path again. I have to find Allah again. After that incident I started going to all my class, and attending those nightly Quran sessions that they held at the mosque. I was a newborn Muslim. I am really starting to feel the change, with all those things occupying me, I started acing all my classes, and almost forgotten about Mawar.
I spent almost everyday studying, and praying, and performing my duties to my religion. And due to this change in me, I started to make new friends, best friends, Matt became my best friend here, and we started to hang out, and I even thought him how to speak Malay. And even on occasions I hung out with Mawar and her gang, but I never got close enough to even speak with her. She would only smile at me from a far away, and so did I.
And then finally it was my final semester in University of Jordan, and I just finished my final examination. I’m expecting good result on this paper. I started packing, since my parent was already here a week before my final paper, it was the third time they visited me here, and probably is the last. I’ve already befriended everyone in campus, old and young, stupid and smart, heck I even make friends with the janitor. This was probably my last day spent here in Jordan, aside from my graduation day to come next year.
My things were all packed and ready. I said my goodbye to all my friends, especially to Matt, and since he was my best friends, or more like a brother to me, it was really sad to leave him. But as it turns out, he decided to work in Kuching, because his father’s company is establishing a branch in Malaysia based in Kuching. And he was supposed to be the manager there. So it didn’t turn out to be a sad depart but more of a happy news. He was going to Kuching next week.
Then I met with Mawar, she was the girl that changed me, she made me changed. If I never met her I would have never change, it kinda feels awkward for me to say goodbye to her. She smiled at me, like she always does. And we talked about something unimportant which I do not remember, but I do remember what she said afterwards.
“Well brother Nas, I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks Mawar. I really appreciate it.”
“He he... I never got to say what I wanted to say to you before.”
“What do you want to say?”
“Well after that day that I told you all those things, I actually wanted to tell you that I also like you. Even when our eyes first meet, at that freshmen meet that day. I never thought that you’d change so drastically. But it was better this way, you a better person than you were before.”
“Yea, I’m happy with what I’d done. And I didn’t regret changing. It was all worth it, all the friends I’ve met, and especially you. And like you said that day, if I love you so much, then I’ll wait. And that’s what I’ll do. I’ll wait for you to come back.”
“Thanks for remembering that. Will you promise me?”
“I promise you, I’ll wait.”
She smiled again, and we said goodbye one last time.
It’s been exactly one year. 3rd of January, the day that I came back from Jordan, and today I’m picking up my fiancé from the airport, she’s coming here to marry me after finishing her studies. While I waited I met this guy named Saf who just came from KL that said he was meeting his girlfriend who he promised to come back to. I met him at McDonald eating a big Mac next to my table. Then after he said goodbye, the announcement saying the arrival of my fiancé’s airplane was made. I stood up and waited outside the arrival hall. She wore red kebaya, and a matching red scarf, she already took her bags and saw me outside. I smiled at her, and felt that all that waiting was worth it.
“Mawar. Welcome back my sayang…”
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