far away, but never gone...

it has been 13 years since my last visit to Sarawak, i was about 5 at the time. my mom and dad just got a divorce, so i spent one week in Sarawak, and one week in K.L. there was nothing i could do about their relationship, since they haven't seen in other in 12 years. in my I.C it is written Mohamad Safar Bin Ismail, but i barely knew my father. the only man that i knew while growing up is my grandfather, the only reason is because me and my mom live with them, and by them i mean my grandmother and grandfather. my dad visits sometime, but he only sees me for a couple of days, usually when he has a meeting in K.L, or he's on his way somewhere overseas, but mostly he works from his office in Kuching. but enough about them, this story is not about them at all, its about me, Saf, and this girl that i met, whose name i will tell as you read on...


i go to a private college in K.L, or to be specific in Cyberjaya. most of the year i spent with my friends and my cousins in K.L, but this year was a little different, since most of my friend are somewhere in Europe or America, and my cousins are spending time with their family, my mom decided to send me to my father in Sarawak. i pleaded to her so that i don't have to go, but she insisted in me going. i was a little sour when she sent me to the airport, but since she gave me a whole lot of money to be spent there i smiled a little. i waved goodbye to her as she left me alone at the airport. 1 or 2 hours later, i was in Kuching airport.i was amazed, the airport changed a lot from what i remembered, it looked almost as good as KLIA, but not good enough. i waited for my bags to come, i brought about 4 bags for about 3 month here. my dad was already outside waiting. he waved at me and i just nodded my head and walked to him with the trolley filled with my bags. as i walked outside, i saw this most breathtaking sight, which was the new airport's outside. i kinda like it, it suits my mood. and another surprise is that kuching have more fly-over than i can remember, last i came here, Satok was the only place that has a fly-over. but K.L has tons of those things, i mean why do i even bother with these stupid things, i'm telling a story about this girl that i met, and i'm still not telling her name.


i arrive at my father's house. he lived alone, in this really big house all the way in Matang. we didn't talk much, probably because i don't know what to talk about to him, and the only topic that i could think of was how much Kuching changed, but that didn't go far. we arrived at home, the lights were already home, it was bigger than our house in K.L. then at home, i noticed there was someone else in the house because when he didn't used the key, instead he ringed the bell. someone opened the door, i hoped it was not some girl, and it wasn't, it was just my cousin, Danny. i wondered what he was doing here, and my father said he was staying here because his parents is on a honeymoon in Monaco or italy or something. Danny is just 13 years old. i brought my bags to my room, which my father said is upstairs, i opened the door and saw this room, which was like those fancy hotel room, it wasn't to my liking but i guess it will do. i placed my bags into the closet, and jumped on the bed. the room had a HDTV, airconditioning, and its own bathroom. i feel like i'm sleeping in a hotel, only there's no room service, and its free.


i called my mom to tell her that i've arrived at dad's house, and i also told her that about how much kuching have changed too. somehow i felt sleepy all of a sudden, so i turned the tv off, switched off the lights and closed my eyes. but as i closed my eyes i couldn't sleep, so i toss and turned but i still couldn't i guess its because i'm not used to the place yet, so instead i got off the bed and walked to the balcony, figuring probably after some fresh air i could get some sleep.


then while i was standing on the balcony, i saw some lights from a motorcycle or scooter or something, and a few moments later i heard the sound, it was a scooter. i looked even more closer to the scooter and noticed it was a girl riding the scooter. my house was in front of a corner, and it was a hard bend corner, i notice that there was a car coming from the opposing direction, and the car didn't have the lights turned on, and i wanted to warn her but it was too late, she did manage to evade the car but she was thrown in front of the gate of to my house. i just had to help her.


i ran downstairs and noticed that my dad was still in his studies, doing work, so i didn't bother calling him, so i quickly ran downstairs opened the front door, and the front gate. she managed to get the scooter off her but she was still on the ground. i ran to help her. i gave her my hand and she grabbed mine, she tried but she couldn't get up, so i gave her a little pull. she did managed to stand with my help, but her legs were bleeding.


"er.. your leg is bleeding. do you need any help?"

"no its fine, i can still walk, just barely anyway."

"don't worry, lets go inside, i'll fix the cut for you"

"you'd do that for me? thanks."



i gave her my shoulder so she could walk a little bit, and a few shoulder later, we were in front of my house, next she was on the sofa. my dad then came down to find out what i was doing there.



"Saf, really? you've only been here only a couple of hours and you're already bringing home some girl."


"no dad, she was in an accident outside, i helped her. and she's bleeding, do you have any medical kits here?"


" in the kitchen, next to the cutlery."


i ran to the kitchen and grabbed the medical kit, and i wondered why he put it next to the knife and stuff. maybe cause he cuts himself everytime he uses the knife. anyway, i walked to the living room, and opened the kit in front of her. i used the cotton to wipe her blood, and dipped another balls of cotton with iodine.


"its gonna sting a little," then i slowly tapped the cotton on her cut, she bit her a tounge to ease the pain, but i knew she was still in pain. alter i used the bandage to wrap her legs.


there, its all better now."


"thanks, how come you're so good at this?"


"ow, you know, i used to be in the National Service and all."


"oh, i forgot to introduce myself, i'm Hani,"


"i'm Saf, nice to meet you Hani,"


"nice to meet you too, freaky way to meet ain't it?well i best be going then."


"wait do you want me to send you? your leg is still in bandages,"


"its okay, i only live a few houses from yours,"


"then i'll walk you there. your scooter is kinda totaled"


"thanks again."



i showed her the way out. i told my dad that i was sending her home, and then i went out. she was still limping, but it wasn't like before. i pulled her scooter so it could stand, and tried to start it, and it started, but i noticed the tyres were all messed up, so riding the scooter was out of the question. she looked at me, and wanted to grab the handle of the bike, but i wouldn't let her, instead i myself towed the scooter. we walkes side by side, while i pushed the scooter. we talked about stuff, and what kind of stuff i wasn't sure, but it had something to do with what i'm studying and about my dad and my mom. we reached her house, like she said, it wasn't that far from my house, i parked her scooter under the porch. she thanked me again, and i said welcome. i told her to change the bandages in a couple more hours. she smiled at me, and i smiled back. i said my goodbye, but before i left she grabbed my shoulder and as i turned around, she gave me a little kiss on the cheeks, it was a surprise to me, but it felt kinda nice, and kinda right. i said goodbye again to her, and waved at her. i couldn't get the stupid grin off my face, and it didn't went away, even when i was on the bed that night, and probably when i was asleep too, since i dreamt of her that night.

that morning i woke up and that grin was still on my face. i seriously couldn't get that grin off my face. even my dad thinks that grin is stupid, and my little cousin. then i remembered that Danny had an older brother, Dini, who is the same age as me. and it turns out he's here in Kuching too, and but he's still at this camp, thats why Danny is staying here, just untill he's back tomorrow. meanwhile i had to stay here and do nothing. i stopped grinning, and asked my dad if i can borrow his car, and he gave the key to his CR-V.


it took for me quite some time to get used to the car, since back in KL i drive a Kenari, and the CR-V is a little different, but i got used to it. i drove around a few houses then i noticed that i was already in front of Hani's house. i dont really know what i'm doing there but somehow i just gotta meet her again, i was gonna honk but she came out of the house. her hair was tied in this different way than any girl would tie their hair, so that is what i remember about her. she saw me and ran to my car.

"what are you doing here Saf?"
"you know, i was gonna see how you are feeling, after that fall and all."
"i'm fine."
"how's the cut?"
"its okay, its better than it was last night."
"you know what, i'll cut this bullcrap now. i was gonna do this slowly but, do you wanna go for a ride with me? show me aroud Kuching?"
"i'm not sure me 'riding' with you is such a good idea,"
"uh, bad choice of words there."
"why would you wanna around Kuching?"
"i'm a KL boy, so i dont know my way around here. i'm in desperate need of a guide."
"okay, i will show you around this city."

she showed me everything there is to show around Kuching, and she even showed me where the best food place is, and from what she said, and from what i've eaten, i would probably say that Suhai is my favourite place. we spent the entire day and night just driving around Kuching. untill it was very late,then i sent her home. i drove back to my house, and slept easily, with no stupid grin on my face.

the next morning, Danny woke me up to tell me that my father wanted me to pick up Dini from his camp in Damai. so i did what he told me, mostly because i wanted to see that guy again, the last time we met was when i was still i form 1, in Genting, and that was just by accident. anyway, the drive was long, since Damai was like on the edge of this place, but its a nice place if you wanna chill at a beach. when i arrived, Dini was already waiting with his bag by his side, wearing sunglasses, a cap and those mod scarf (the plaided kind). wow he looked so indie rock, or more like mod, or something in between. i unlocked the door, and Danny opened the door and called out to Dini. he noticed us and ran to the car. he placed his bags inside. only when he was inside that he noticed that it was me.

"Saf?"
"Yeah Its me, hey Dini!"
"dude, how long has it been?"
"i think 4 or 5 years?"
" yeah i think so."

we talked all the way back form Damai, and we talked about everything. and i even told him about my meeting with Hani. i asked him what he was doing at Damai, and he said it was for this seminar on advertising or something. i didn't pay enought attention to it. i sent him back to his house in Gita, but he insisted that Danny stay with my dad, because he was going out, and by the looks of it, out all night. he took out his own car, which was a pearl whiteVios. when i saw that i was amazed, it was so shiny, like a new coin, or a metal foil, or a bald guy's head. after i sent Danny back to my house, Dini came to pick me up. he said we were going out to play snooker and hit the town, which of course means go to some bar or club.

i wanted to call Hani to bring her with me, but somehow, i just didn't want to ruin a guy's night out by bringing a girl. so i only texted her the entire time. we hungout the whole night, and then we came home at about 12 or later, but when we got home, i saw an ambulance parked in front of Hani's house. i felt something was wrong, so i asked Dini to drive oevr to her house. it was Hani on the stretcher, being put into the ambulance. i knew something was up, so i got out and asked her mother what happened, and it turns out that she fell down the stairs. so i followed the ambulance to the hospital, with Dini on the wheels. we slept at the hospital that night.

i woke up at 6, and asked the reception where Hani's ward is. it was located at level 4, the bone department. it turns out she broke her leg after falling down. when i was in the ward, her mother greeted me, and started to act as if i;m the first guy friend that she has. and as her mother started to talk it turns out that i was. she said that the reason that she doesn't have any guy friend is because she's really clumsy. but i never recall her being clumsy when i was around her. she woke up a few moments later, and was blushing when she saw me in the ward with her mother. i asked where her father is, and she replied back that he was in europe. then her mother started rambling about how when she was little, she used to fall down bicycles and stuff, and that every guy that she ever encountered was too foolish to get used to her being clumsy, so they never stay. but her mother was thankful that i didn't run when i heard that she broke her leg. i promised her that i won't go. and i got close to Hani after her mother left to buy some food, and slowly told her that i won't leave her, and gave her a little peck on the cheek. she smiled at me, and started to blush. then i told her that i was going home to change my clothes. Dini drove me home, and i changed. i drove my own car to the hospital, and spent my time with her there.

everyday i went to the hospital to check on her, and helped her with therapy for her leg to start walking again. her mother was impressed with what i'm doing for her, and when i was alone with her mother while Hani was in the doctor's office, her mother said that she never made it more than a day without breaking or cutting or even damaging any part of her body by accident. and she thanked me. i only smiled back, since i know that in 2 more weeks that i won't be in Kuching anymore.

my dad knew that i have been spending my time with her at the hospital, he even gave me gas money everyday. Hani was ready to go home, i drove her home with her mother beside her. her legs were still in a cast, but she can walk a little bit. when she was home, my dad came to visit her, and so did Dini. i helped move her around, and for dinner i brought her out to eat at Suhai, it was like her favourite. i'm going back to KL in four more days, i told her already, she seemed okay. it was my last night to eat with her, since tomorrow i had to eat with my dad, then with Dini, then with my other family on my father's side. that night while i was eating, she stared at my me so i stopped eating and looked back at her.

"what's wrong?"
"ow, nothing."
"i'm sorry i have to leave, but its just that i live there."
"its okay. i just wanna say thank you. thank you for helping me go through all this, i don't think i was gonna survive another broken part."
"i did it because i wanted too."
"i kinda like it when you're around, i never feel like i'm gonna screw up or anything, maybe that's why i didn't fall or anything when i was out with you last three weeks. it's like you give me balance, or its like you give me another pair of legs."
"maybe its because when i walk with you, i always held your hand."
"maybe that's it. thanks for always holding my hands, even when they are are cold as ice."
"i promise that i won't forget you. and i did promise not to leave you, i'm sorry i have to break that promise. i'll be back in a few more weeks."

she smiled at me, and a little drop of tear started rolling down her cheeks, i used a tissue paper to rub it off her. after we ate, i helped her into my car. then i drove her home. just in front of her house, i helped her out of the car, and sent her to the door.her father was already home, so i didn't bother to go in, i only sent her up to her front door. before she went in, she gave me one long kiss.

and after i went back to KL, i never forgot about her. i promised that i was coming back, and i will. i'm buying the ticket to Kuching right now. :)