Sunday, August 17, 2008

will you still love me tomorrow?

everything went silent, it was an awkward moment for both of us. she stared straight at me. eventhough she was sitting down, after hearing what i said, i think it made her sit down once again. nobody was expecting this. even me. so in the heat of embarasing myself even more, i ran outside. her party continued on after i ran out. i walked towards my Honda Prelude, and banged the hood. then the weather turned bad. it started to rain. i went inside the car, and just sat there, thinking away. it wasn'talways like this, me and Farah, we are best friends.

it was about six years ago, i was still twelve years old, but i was in form one. it wasn't such a big deal or anything, there were about ten of us in the class, and some few others in the other class. anyway, it wasn't because of my age that made it difficult, it was rather that i just moved here at that time. so it was kind of weird for someone like me to make friends so quickly. so it was my first day in form one in a new place, i had no friends, and i just arrived in class. the teacher inside wanted me to introduced myself to everyone which i did, but all my class mate at that time gave me a weird look. so at first i felt isolated, the teacher told me to get a seat at this desk near some girl. i slowly walked down to my desk, but someone tripped me, and i fell on my knees in front of my desk with all of my books on the floor. the guy that tripped me is Is, my now best friends. nobody would help me, even the teachers told me to stop playing around and quickly pick up my things. so this girl helped me. she grabbed some of my books, and put it on my desk. she smiled and offered her hand to help me up. i reached for her hand, and that was when i saw her, she introduced herself to me, and i now know her name, Farah. since then she helped me adjust to the school, meet new friends, and even made Is apologize to me. the rest of it is history.

in the present day...

i listen to the disc that i played before coming to her house, and that stupid disc was the whole reason i confessed to her at that time. songs by Cake-Strangers in the night, Death Cab-Earth Angel, and other love songs.it sounded really convincing when you wanted to do it, but right at that moment i felt stupid. i didn't knew she had a new boyfriend. that damn guy. the only reason i confessed to her was because i received this offer to study in Australia. i was going to suprised her after we got together, but things kind of got out of hand, and i don't think i will be talking to her in the next few days. thank goodness most of the people that went to her party was friends, not my friends. if Is saw me today, he would laughed his ass off. the rain got heavier, and the time was already late, so i had to go home. but before i drove away, i took the love song CD and threw it outside, there was no need to listen to those gay songs anymore.



for the next couple of days, my life went on as usual, and i started to pack some of my stuff that i needed, like my PS2, and my clothes, and some other crap that i may need. my mom also gave me some money to buy some shirt and pants before i leave. shopping for new clothes always gave me a headache, so usually i brought along Farah to help me, but she usually ended up buying some of her own stuff. anyway, since i couldn't talk to her, i just went on by myself.



shopping alone is harder than it seems, especially, when picking the right colours, and patterns. but i remembered everything Farah told me, always choose one black shirt, and buy the pants with the line things, and when choosing jeans, choose Levi's. i remembered all that and i finished shopping.i was going out to lunch, and since i never eat alone i called Is to meet me up at the foodcourt in TJ. he was always ready to go anywhere, and this was odd, considering that he was already in college. Is attends a private college, and because of that he is proud, or something. he doesn't need to go anywhere, he's gonna inherit his father's company.



i waited for Is at the lift lobby. five minutes after he called me, he was already in front of me, wearing his slick glass, expensive pants, and Armani exchange t-shirt. he was quite a dazzler, but he only dated one girl only, and they are engaged now. i never knew why he settled for this girl, if you saw these two at a party, they look like heaven and hell, the girl is sweet innocent looking, with the bright eyes, while the guy looks like hugh hefner. just by looking at him, you would assume he is a player.



we bought our food, and sat at the table near the window. i looked down and saw all this kids just hanging out at SP, and its kinda lame. a this whole time Is was staring at me. i knew he was about to say something.

"hey Ed?, is there anything new that i should know about?"

"huh? like what?"

"you know, anything....."

"dude! you knew about it!"

"what?! i don't know nothing."

"clear the shit, i've known you for years, i certainly know it when you know something"

"alright... i knew about the incident alright!"

"did Farah told you?"

"no, it was posted in Youtube, under the title 'embarassing confession boy' and this other video called 'awkward situation'. when i saw it it had one hundred thousands view."

"are you serious?"

"of course not. Farah told me yesterday when we were at our grandfather's birthday."

"owh.. how is she anyway?"

"you haven't spoken to her yet?"

"no! why would i? not after that. and not after i knew about her new boyfriend."

"yeah, about that, she broke up with him."

"why did she do that?"

"it turns out the guy was gay. his father forced him to go out with Farah"

"shit! now i'm just confused. i'm going in a few days, and i haven't even apologize for walking out on her party last week."

"make a decision quick jackass!"



after finished having lunch, i quickly got up and ran to the carpark. Is said he was going to get his fiance', so i was left alone once again. i started the car and drove out of the carpark. i drove quickly to Farah's house. i passed a few redlights, and almost hit a few cars but i didn't take it to much. so without regard for my safety i drove more faster. if my fate was with her, then it is, there is nothing in the living world that can go against fate.



as i've said before, its fate, me and Farah are meant to be together, nothing can't stop me. suddenly, there was this cat that was crossing the street, and i was driving so fast that my brake couldn't slowed the car. so i swerved the car and my car ended up inside a ditch.



i wasn't hurt bad or anything, but my car was badly damaged, and that is possibly a sign that its not my fate to be with her. my left hand was a little scratch, and my there was a big cut on my forehead. i reached for my handphone, and dialled Farah's number. she answered after a few moment.

"hello?"

"Farah?"

"Ed?"

"listen, i'm sorry about last week."

"its okay...umm..Ed..."

"i need to say something, this whole time that i wasn't with you, i felt as if i'm empty. as if there is something missing."

"oh Ed.. i..."

"let me just say something. i'm going to Australia this Saturday. remember the university application that we filled together? i got in. i was gonna share the exitement with you, but things happen that shouldn't have happen, and i'm sorry, and i hope you will live happily with someone other than me. it seems that i'm not for you, as you are not for me. bye..."

i called the tow truck, and told them where to find my car. afterwards i climbed out of my car, and waited for someone to pick me up. i didn't care about my car, i'm going to Australia anyway. i waited for the tow truck to come. the truck driver sent me home, while the car was sent to the workshop. i received a neverending call from Farah, but i purposely didn't answer them. i accidently answered this one time but i couldn't speak to her, maybe it was because my heart was to hurt, or maybe because it seems to hard to speak. but i never answered them.

finallythe day came. some of my family member was here to send me away, and some of my friend were here too. i felt the cries of my parent, my cousins and friends, and i cried back. but not because of leaving them but because i never got the chance to love the girl of my life. she wasn't even here, so it hurt me even more. i was going alone, since one of my cousin was already in Australia, and i'm suppose to live with him. the flight gate was already open, so i said my final goodbye to everyone that came, and lined up to the immigration counter. the hand luggage that i carried was only my backpack, and my laptop. i reached for my handphone wanting to off it, but Farah called me. i was hesitant to answer the call, but i made up my mind after thinking that i never will be able to speak to her again.

"hello.."

"Ed! i made up my mind. i love you. i've always have."

"what are you talking about?"

"just like you, my life was empty without you to brighten up my morning. without you to stand there right beside me!"

"Farah, its too late. i'm already going to board the plane."

"i'm outside! i'm with your family now!"

i slowly turned around and saw her just outside the window, waving at me. i ended the call, and ran outside to meether.

"how come you were late?"

"traffic"

she hugged me tightly, and i hugged back. she stared me in the eyes, and slowly, we kissed.

"LAST CALL FOR FLIGHT NUMBER MH44568 MALAYSIA AIRLINES TO SYDNEY!"

The flight announcement surprised the both of us.

"you know Farah, i can stay here..."

"no just go. there will be summer break for you. so make sure you come home okay?"

"i will, i promise."

"i know you would."

i went back to immigration counter and happily checked in. and the inly thing that is still playin in my mind is that will she still love me after all the time have passed? i can't make sure that will love me, but i can try. before going to the boarding gate, i turned around one last time, and saw her still standing outside the glass, looking at me go, she blew me a kiss, and i just smiled while walking away entering the airplane.

THE END?

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